Stuffed Eagle Desecrated In Lancashire Museum

Man arrested having broken into a museum in an unusal attempt to resist Russian oppression in Ukraine


Phil Hitchens

3/9/20222 min read

EAGLE EYED SHERRY: Intoxicatated man's political stunt lands him in trouble with the law. (Barry Bride/Stimhoper Images Inc)

A stuffed double headed eagle was beheaded (twice) and filled full of human excrement in the early hours of 05 March 2022. The unfortunate incident took place at the Lancashire Museum of History and Art where a dishevelled man in his early 60s forced his way into the museum at around 3.30am.

CCTV footage, exclusively seen by Bazake Media, shows a man stumbling around the reception area of the museum before making a beeline straight to the political taxidermy and natural history collection on the first floor. After locating the double-headed eagle – a symbol of the sovereignty of the Russian Federation and its regions – the clearly intoxicated man ripped the heads off using both his hands and teeth and proceeded to relieve himself inside the eagle, as if it were a toilet. He then appeared to get lost for roughly an hour inside the museum before falling asleep inside an old fashioned steam train, thought to be a Puffing Billy.

Having since been released on bail, the man - who cannot be named for legal reasons - has been quoted as saying he was “doing his bit to defend Ukraine from Russian aggression after a few pints in the local”. When quizzed by Bazake Media on how “shitting 9 pints of Guinness into a stuffed eagle in Lancashire will do any good for the Ukranian people”, the man replied that “if you don’t think that shitting into a stuffed double-headed eagle will advance resistance to the Russian empire then you are possibly not understanding resistance from a Marxist viewpoint”. At that stage, the man attempted to sell Bazake Media some books he had apparently written and departed muttering something negative about the Pope.

It is understood he is due to attend Magistrates Court later this month and will be pleading not guilty to various charges of vandalism and disorderly behaviour. His defence is thought to be based on international policital war legislation.